Pardon the pun.
This week is our county fair - lots of rides, games, and - my personal reason for going - food. It's also my chance to be a good son, as my mom enjoys it as well, and I take her every year. (I also used to take my ex one day each year, but, of course...) So, Mom & I went yesterday, on our annual day of gluttony. We were sitting at a picnic bench, Mom enjoying a crab cake sandwich, while I devoured roast beef. A voice came from behind, "Well, hello there!" It was my ex's mom. My ex's dad was there as well. I hadn't seen them in nearly a year. We chatted briefly, but their tone was friendly, just like when we were family. I ran into my ex's sister and nephew at the fair yesterday as well. We talked for a little while, too. The one thing that I didn't bring up with any of them was my ex. I wanted to ask how she was, but I didn't want to come off as prying, and I may have heard more information than I may have cared to. I've missed all of them; I've missed being part of the clan. On one hand, seeing them yesterday was a great relief, as I felt a little less like the enemy. I know I said some pretty nasty things after my ex left. (She did as well, but that's no defense.) I said those things out of anger and pain, but I never stopped loving her. I guess/hope her family knows that she was the love of my life, that I never wanted to lose her, and that I would have done anything to keep that from happening.
On Monday, my current love interest, the one who's been the first to take my ex off my mind, went to the fair with her boyfriend. She moved to the area back in February, so it was her first time at our fair. She texted me a few times while she was there. Seemed interesting that she'd take the time to text me while she was with him. At least I know she was thinking of me, for whatever that's worth. Then again, today she posted on Facebook that she's tired (She worked a late shift last night), and that she was really looking forward to snuggling with her man tonight. So, I'm back to thinking I should just fade into the shadows and leave her alone. Yet when we're together, we really seem to connect. We came so close to crossing a line a few times. Technically, my being with her at all could cost me my job, but she is so worth the risk. At the very least, every time we're together she keeps hugging me tightly. I've kissed her on the top of her head and on the back of her neck many times. I wonder if, the next time we're together, should I throw caution to the wind and just kiss her - for real, passionately, as I've been dying to do for so long. She can't be totally happy with her boyfriend if she keeps hanging out with me, especially knowing my feelings for her. Should I try to fan the flame, or will I just get burned?...