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Lately it occurs to me
What a long, strange trip it's been
The older I get, the more meaning it carries.
...yes I am a pirate
200 years too late.
The cannons don't thunder
there's nothing to plunder
I'm an over 40 victim of fate
Arriving too late....
I like this one too:
Randy Newman's "It's Money That I Love"
They say that money
Can't buy love in this world
But it'll get you a half-pound of cocaine
And a sixteen year old girl
And a great big long limousine
On a hot September night
Now that may not be love
But it is all right
I just gotta grin on that thought ...
This one is from Dylan's "Buckets of Rain":
I like your smile
And your fingertips
I like the way that you move your hips
I like the cool way you look at me
Everything about you is bringing me
Misery
Now I'm losing touch with reality and I'm almost out of blow
It's such a fine line ... I hate to see it go
Cocaine ... runnin all round my brain
I think I'll find a pair of eyes tonight
to fall into, and maybe strike a deal
Your body for my soul, fair swap
Cause cheap is how I feel
She'll let you take her home (it whets her appetite)
She'll lay you on the throne
She'll take a tumble on you
Roll you like you were dice
Until you come up blue
She's got Bette Davis eyes
"You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon."
From "Black Dog" by Robert Plant, John Paul Jones,
John Bonham, and Jimmy Page:
Hey hey momma, said the way you move
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove
Ah ah child, way you shake that thing
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting
Hey hey baby, when you walk that way
Watch your honey drip, can't keep away
From Bruce Springsteen's "Devils and Dust":
We've got God on our side
We're just trying to survive
What if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love?
Fear's a powerful thing, baby
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
From Joni Mitchell's "Clouds":
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I tell people I really like that thought and I frequently get the reply that it's cheesy or pompous. I don't think so. I think it's written by someone who lived and lost, and realized how painful that is. It's written by someone who lived and achieved success, and realized how empty that CAN be.
You probably already know I'm a Warren Zevon fan, so some of you might discount these next entries as the ravings of a gormless twit. But honestly, Zevon needs to be in this list; the guy was a genius of caustic cynicism. I'll try to limit the entries.
This one is awfully good ... from "Poor Poor Pitiful Me":
"I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar
She asked me if I'd beat her
She took me back to the Hiatt House
I don't want to talk about it"
"I'm looking for a woman with low self esteem
To lay me out and ease my worried mind"
"I'm hiding in Honduras
I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan"
"It's the home of the brave
And the land of the free
Where the less you know
The better off you'll be"
Ween - "You Fucked Up"
You fucked up by Ween
You fucked up, you bitch
You really fucked up
You fucked up
You fuckin' **** whore
Well, you dicked me over
But now you'll pay
You fucked up, ah
You fucked up, you bitch
You really fucked up
You fucked up
You sloppy little shit
Bitch, ah
Well, you dicked me over
But now you'll pay
You fucked up, ah
Well, you dicked me over
But now you'll pay
You fucked up, ah
They all want me to rock them
like my back ain't got no bone
I want a man to rock me
like my backbone was his own
The mental image I get from this is just great ...
The two of them, locked in coitus, writhing like two human slinkies.
wow ... great image
"Some men will drive to the edges of nothing
So they can take a peak at the great abyss
Some men avoid love, like it was a plague or something
So they can leave the seat down when they piss"
Men can be like that. I ... read about that.
"One night we're playin gin by a cracklin fire
And I decided to make my play
I said, "Babe, with my boyish charm and good looks
How can you stand it for one more day?"
She said, "Maybe it's the skeevy look in your eyes,
Or that your mind has turned to applesauce;
The dreary architecture of your soul."
I said, "But what is it exactly turns you off?"
"Well the first days are the hardest days
Don't you worry any more
Cause when life looks like Easy Street
There is danger at your door
Think this through with me
Let me know your mind
Whoa oh, what I want to know is
Are you kind?"
Cap'n Jazz - "Oh Messy Life"
fire is motion.
work is repetition.
this is my document.
we are all all we've done.
we are all all we've done.
we are all all defenses.
fire is motion.
is motion growth?
and you are colder than oldness could ever be.
and you are bolder than buzzing bugs.
my mama said my cousin bucky's so boldly bald
cuz he never took his hat off.
he kept that cap on even when swimming.
i know there's a lesson
in there somewhere something nothing special
'bout boys who smell like salami
and boys who've never apologized.
and you are colder than oldness could ever be.
and you are bolder than buzzing bugs.
From Tom Hambridge's "Rock Me Right"
(But it's GOT to be sung by Susan Tedeschi for the right effect:
"When your stomach starts growling
I know what you need darlin
Oh Fix me up something salty and sweet
Now homemade cookin always does the trick
Your cotton ain't rotten, just needs to be picked"
The image of the two of them, flirting like crazy in the kitchen as she licks a spatula, just works for me.
Neil Diamond - "The Last Thing On My Mind"
It's a lesson too late for the learnin'
Made of sand, made of sand
In the wink of an eye my soul is turning
In your hand, in your hand
Are you going away
With no words of farewell
Will there be not a trace left behind
Well I could have loved you better
I didn't mean to be unkind
You know that was
The last thing on my mind
You got reasons aplenty for going
This I know, this I know
For the weeds
Have been steadily growin'
Please don't go, please don't go
Are you going away
With no words of farewell
Will there be not a trace left behind
Well I could have loved you better
I didn't mean to be unkind
You know that was
The last thing on my mind.
From Mark Knopfler's "Junkie Doll":
You spiked my arm
But you missed the vein
Now it's all gone
But the scars remain
Junkie doll, I was stuck on you
My junkie doll
It's just the best lines I've ever read on the subject of lost love.
He gets stoopid, shoots an arrow like Cupid, and uses words that don't mean nothin', like looptid. He’s in charge. And his nose is large. Big like a pickle. It will give ya a tickle, yo. Cuz he gots funky love for ho.
He's the king of romance. But he craps in his pants. Then he does his little dance. In the Burger King bathroom, yo.
"The Humpty Dance"
[Verse 1: Humpty Hump]
All right!
Stop whatcha doin'
'cause I'm about to ruin
the image and the style that ya used to.
I look funny,
but yo I'm makin' money, see
so yo world I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather round
I'm the new fool in town
and my sound's laid down by the Underground.
I drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelf
so just let me introduce myself
My name is Humpty, pronounced with a Umpty.
Yo ladies, oh how I like to hump thee.
And all the rappers in the top ten-please allow me to bump thee.
I'm steppin' tall, y'all,
and just like Humpty Dumpty
you're gonna fall when the stereos pump me.
I like to rhyme,
I like my beats funky,
I'm spunky. I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mack
but sometimes I get ridiculous
I'll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c'mere-are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I'm skinny
It never stopped me from gettin' busy
I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom
I'm crazy.
Allow me to amaze thee.
They say I'm ugly but it just don't faze me.
I'm still gettin' in the girls' pants
and I even got my own dance
[Chorus:]
The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
[Verse 2:]
People say "Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'"
that's all right 'cause I get things cookin'
Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare me
but ya can't get near me
I give 'em more, see, and on the floor, B,
all the girls they adore me
Oh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere
'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.
My nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamed
Big like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paid
I get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in charge,
both how I'm livin' and my nose is large
I get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like Cupid,
I use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptid
I sang on Doowhutchalike, and if ya missed it,
I'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuits
Also told ya that I like to bite
Well, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to write.
All ya had to do was give Humpty a chance
and now I'm gonna do my dance.
[Chorus]
[Breakdown:]
Oh, yeah, that's the break, y'all
Let me hear a little bit of that bass groove right here
Oh, yeah!
Now that I told ya a little bit about myself
let me tell ya a little bit about this dance
It's real easy to do--check it out
[Verse 3:]
First I limp to the side like my leg was broken
Shakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'
Crazy wack funky
People say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, Humpty
That's all right 'cause my body's in motion
It's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsion
Anyone can play this game
This is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my name
No two people will do it the same
Ya got it down when ya appear to be in pain
Humpin', funkin', jumpin',
jig around, shakin' ya rump,
and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump
tell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.
[Chorus]
Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
Let's get stoopid!
[Chorus]
Oh, yeah, come on and break it down
[Outro:]
Once again, the Underground is in the house
I'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,
keep on doin' the Humpty Dance,
and to the ladies,
peace and humptiness forever
[Music and fade]
If heartaches were commercials, we'd all be on TV.