I have some very deeply emotional and traumatic personal experiences with this topic. I haven't addressed it before because it is SO emotionally charged for me. But this is a hard line for me. It's not about being clever, or heartless and cruel, it is purely self preservation.
And this may not need to be said but I am going to anyway.... threatening suicide constantly when things don't go your way is a very common abuse tactic. It is coercive control, usually along with other concerning behavior.
If you need help, PLEASE get it. Find a helpline. Talk to someone who is qualified to help you. Your life matters, it is IMPERATIVE that you take care of it.
However: it is not fair to put that kind of moral responsibility onto others. Only you can truly help yourself if you are having feelings of self harm or suicide.
!!!! You do not have to suffer, there are options and every single person deserves a happy and fruitful life !!!!
just a few sources to back up my point:
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-9566.13476Abstract:
Research has shown a link between gender, violence, and suicide. This relationship is complex, and few empirical studies have explored suicide and family and interpersonal violence perpetrated by men. Drawing on a coronial dataset of suicide cases and a mixed methods design, this study integrated a quantitative analysis of 155 suicide cases with a qualitative analysis of medico-legal reports from 32 cases. Findings showed different types and patterns of family and intimate partner violence for men who died by suicide. Men used violence in response to conflict, but also to dominate women. Cumulative, interwoven effects of violence, mental illness, alcohol and other drug use, socioeconomic, and psychosocial circumstances were observed in our study population. However, the use of violence and suicidal behaviour was also a deliberate and calculated response by which some men sought to maintain influence or control over women. Health and criminal justice interventions served as short-term responses to violence, mental illness, and suicidal behaviour, but were of limited assistance.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/love-sex/relationships/a9905675/domestic-abuse-suicide-control/"There are still far too many stigmas around domestic abuse and sadly too many people judge survivors and ask ‘why they didn’t leave?’ Suicide is a means of coercive control and is very commonly used in domestic abuse relationships. We ask that next time you think, pause and ask yourself what can you do to help, rather than asking someone why they stayed."
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/Domestic abuse isn’t always physical. Coercive control is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim.
This controlling behaviour is designed to make a person dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them, depriving them of independence and regulating their everyday behaviour.
We campaigned and succeeded in making coercive control a criminal offence. This has marked a huge step forward in tackling domestic abuse. But now we want to make sure that everyone understands what it is.
Coercive control creates invisible chains and a sense of fear that pervades all elements of a victim’s life. It works to limit their human rights by depriving them of their liberty and reducing their ability for action. Experts like Evan Stark liken coercive control to being taken hostage. As he says: “the victim becomes captive in an unreal world created by the abuser, entrapped in a world of confusion, contradiction and fear.”
How do you know if this is happening to you?
Some common examples of coercive behaviour are:
Isolating you from friends and family
Depriving you of basic needs, such as food
Monitoring your time
Monitoring you via online communication tools or spyware
Taking control over aspects of your everyday life, such as where you can go, who you can see, what you can wear and when you can sleep
Depriving you access to support services, such as medical services
Repeatedly putting you down, such as saying you’re worthless
Humiliating, degrading or dehumanising you
Controlling your finances
Making threats or intimidating you
