bighoss2's Blog - page 6

Each day thats passes, I belong here less. My world more no more empty, but I become more aware that you are not here. Wanderlust, I cannot stop until I hear you whisper, "hello dear"

Alone on a gloomy day. Fingertips dance over lonely lips wanting to dream this day away. How I long to have you here, a vision to soothe my aching eyes and make the grey disappear. Just one kiss on delicate fingertips. One confession from loving lips. One moment when dream becomes reality, and shines a light for this fool to see.

Sometimes you look around and realize the world is very empty. The moments all fade. The curtain falls and the man behind the curtain is thin, frail, and week, frantically pulling at wires and smoke pots. What does the curtain really matter when we are all alone. How long can one hide from the demon lurking in the shadow. How long until we finally succeed, and the curtain closes forever.

I frequently get bothered, annoyed, ticked, generally pissed. I am, by design, a depressed clown. Most things I can turn into a funny tale, or they become a tragic secret. I seldom get genuinely mad. Elevated temp, face flushed, racing pulse, hands trembling, fist clinching, right now I am going to hurt someone other than myself kind of mad. Today was the exception to the rule.

Fondling for words
To frame slow warm seduction
Words frozen in time
Helpless in those light eyes
Lovely pale green
With the tiny flecks of brown
From my own unworthy visage
Reflected in those soft warm dreams

I have but a moment
To capture your gentle gaze
A moment to present myself
My all
But a moment to whisper
Catch me
As I begin to fall

Granted, I hate most people I talk to at work. I have a special private 7th level hell reserved for this stupid mother fucker. We all have quirks in our speech. I have a nasty habit of using like and there. I understand. I really do, but damn!

I was tryin to turn on my computer or whatever(was there something else you were turning on?). I push the button or whatever(what fucking button and what else could you be pushing?). I look or whatever(or what?), and wait or whatever(goddamnit!), but nothing comes on or whatever(was something else supposed to happen?). I tried or whatever, but it just doesn't work or whatever(mother fucker!).


Or whatever is not fn punctuation!!!!!

For the record, you don't have to show me to the subway.

My lips do not exist until they are under your delicate caress. To linger over beautiful fingertips and kiss soft wrist and melt away. One kiss for each hour I have longed for this touch. Another for each moment my heart begs stay. Listen to the confessions born in each kiss. Close your eyes. You can hear in moments like this. Your name whispered in my heart's sighs. See absolute truth through closed eyes.

Standing alone on the shore of a dream not yet born, I ponder the pieces needed to make this one complete. A million choices here to find. People, places, faces lost to time. Yet only your face comes to mind. You occupy my thoughts, my hopes, and my dreams, even those yet unseen.

Time for the dreamer to awaken. Life has always been too short. The dreamer has lived in the moments in between. The world went on, full and happy enough to glimpse a funny story or hopeful tell. Yet the world always oddly empty each time he fell. Maybe, if the dreamer awakens, he can finally sleep again. Maybe then the nightmares will end.