myUserID's Blog - page 2

I saw an old friend yesterday, well, really an old girl friend. We spent the day together. I'm quite confused now and I need to talk to someone. Of course, there isn't anyone I can talk too, so I'm really glad there is the anonymity of a blog with folks who can comment.

Let me clarify something first. Nothing happened but talking. Nothing was going to happen.

I mentioned on Facebook that I was going to be in her area and she invited me to get together. What was going to be a quickie call to set up when and where we'd meet. It turned into a 3+ hour phone call. No flirting, just catching up.

I learned a lot about her. Twenty-five years ago, neither of us could understand what was going on in her psyche. As it turns out, she had a pretty tough childhood. It didn't <i>seem</i> bad when we were 18-20. Only after some things happened later in her life did she realize what really went on. And she's dealing with it. She is happier now and much healthier.

The thing is, the call was easy. I expected it to be a little strained or weird. It was easy. It felt natural. It felt comfortable.

We spent the next day together. It was such a nice day that we went to a park for a walk. We sat and talked. I listened. She listened. I was totally comfortable. She was comfortable. I knew I could tell her anything and it was safe. She felt safe with me, which is something very important because she sets up walls to protect herself.

My problem is that I'm married. Things with my wife have been strained for a very long time. We have our ups and downs. Lately, there are more ups. I can honestly say that my relationship with my wife has never been as comfortable and easy as it was yesterday. That is scary.

I'm not stupid. I'm not going to do something that will scuttle my marriage for a fling. I'm not going to jump out on the whim that my old love is ready to date me again, not to mention the distance.

Here is my problem, though. I could <i>easily</i> love this woman again. Ironically, both women have the same name. I think I married the wrong K.

Well no one was home yesterday, including the neighbors over the back fence. They can see into the yard and they are religious nuts who would probably call the cops even though they were the peeping toms.

Middle of the day, hot sun and cool water. Felt great and natural. I need to slim down so I won't gross anyone out atva nude beach somewhere.

So I did some soul searching and some chatting with others and I think I found a possible answer to my question.

As a refresher, I want to answer why guys who are predominantly straight sometimes want to have gay sex?

For all the improvements in acceptance, gay sex is still taboo. Or let me put that another way. For those of us (myself included) who believe that homosexuality is an innate quality (people are born that way), homosexuality is natural and normal. Gay guys are attracted to guys. That is NOT what I'm talking about.

All of straight and bi guys I've asked, and this is hardly an scientific survey with a population of just 7, said that they are not attracted to guys. But that doesn't stop them from wanting to suck dick every once in a while. When asked why, most said it is fun or it is different (2 of the 7 said "I don't know".

I think what is going on here is that we are still interested in sex, but we want some variety. At some point in our lives, though, we want something new and fresh. We crave the excitement of a new conquest. We want the same titillating experience of something new and forbidden that we felt when sex was new.

So that answered it for me. Gay sex becomes attractive because it opens one up to new, fun, exciting, forbidden experiences.

Comments?

I've always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but I've never had the guts to actually go through with it. See, a woman who "accidentally" exposes herself is hot. Of course, if she is a celeb, the media will make her out to be a tramp. But if she is a regular person, anyone who catches a glimpse of forbidden fruits is just plain lucky.

A guy, on the other hand, will get arrested and labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life.

So I'm careful not to let anything show. Even here. For the longest time, I was WAY to nervous (read: wussy) to dare to post a nude photo.

Then I posted. Liberated. Aroused. Can't wait to do more.

Well, it has been a while since I've written. So much for my plans to be consistent and to explore.

So it is almost the Fourth of July weekend, and I'm incredibly horny. It's been two or three weeks (I've lost count) and I'm going absolutely nuts. It is hard to concentrate on work. It is hard to concentrate on anything really.

I read a recent survey that says the average American (between some ages, don't recall what they were) gets laid a little over twice a week. I don't know what has happened to my wife's libido, but it has been in the tank for years. I will say this, when the kids were away, it went up, especially when she drank (and she started having a drink or two most nights). But now, we are in a low period.

And I have no idea what to do.

I'm starting this blog to write down some of my thoughts and fantasies. I like putting it here because it is anonymous, but you readers can post questions and comments. Feel free to.

A little about myself.
I'm in my mid-fourties, 6 feet tall, and a bit heavier than I like (284). I work out regularly (3-5 times per week), but I haven't lost any weight.

I'm mostly straight, but every once in a while, I get these incredible urges to swing the other way. I'm not attracted to men, mind you, but sometimes I have these strange homoerotic urges.

In this blog, I'm going to explore a little more about them and my hetroerotic urges as well -- I have lots of those.

Until Later,
MUID