gpflem's Blog - page 10

Why do people say "Grow some balls"?

Balls are weak and sensative!

If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina.

Those things take a pounding!

it's Christmas morning here.

Missed my sons phone call cause I was in the shower. Yes I know but I shower every Christmas - regardless. I am keeping up with his adventures via fb.

Christmas day is a big one.

First I go to a mates place for breakie. His youngest is still right into Santa so the magic is still there.

Then it is off to my sisters. She does such a great job of keeping the family together. Today is going to be hot and muggy so I am hoping it will be salads and cold meat and seafood. But what ever it will be great.

After that off to one of my best mates. His wife is Spanish so we have paella. I demand it lol. They became grandparents yesterday. Their sons partner had a baby girl. How exciting.

Finaly, quite late I may call in to see another mate. His youngest is still into Santa as well so that continues the excitment. We have a coffee and maybe something stronger. Then we watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch.

A big day out but I enjoy every bit of it.

I hope yours will be just as enjoyable.

Merry Christmas.

Have a Merry Christmas

( he is not that little at 24 tho ) left for Beijing for a one day stop over and then on to London. He will be gone for about 5 weeks.

I love him dealy and I know I am going to miss him but.....

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

My wife told me to go out and get some thing that would make her look 'sexy'. So I came home pissed

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?

The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs:

In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions'.

'Onions?'

'Yes, you see them and they make you cry.'


This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, 'Mum, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?.

The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree: mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch: flexible but reliable. After his 50's, it is like a Christmas Tree.'

'A Christmas tree?'


'Yes - the root's dead and the balls are just decoration.

Working watching some blokes pull down signs on a car yard.

We were on thew corner of a main hwy going out f Melbourne and a street running off it.

We had just finished smoko when two young girls strolled a raound the corner and started making out having a kiss and a cuddle.

Now this is not something you see every day on the streets of Melbourne so the guys got quite excited.

I think I may have to go back next week to finish the job. I am looking forward to it. lol

that things get better with age.

If that is the case

Then I must be darn near perfect!!!

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.

Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'. It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it - let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.

Rumour has it though, that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning! New models are initially fun to own, but very expensive to maintain and horribly expensive to get rid of.

Used models may initially have curb appeal (low price) but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel and the curb weight typically increases with age.

Not expected to reach collector status... best to lease one and replace each year.

That was a great TV show when I was a kid. Pure escapisms rot. No real story line. Just a way to promote a made for TV group.

And they said:

"Hey Hey we're the Monkeys. We're the young generation and we've got some thing to say"

Years later the Traveling Wilburys - a group of now much older guys said:

"Well it's alright, even if your old and grey. Well it's alright, you still got something to say"

It's all about me I guess. No matter what the age.