Well thank you for the comments upon my previous blog, they are much appreciated, and made a smile form upon my lips. A smile is such a beautiful thing when it is real is it not? I miss the feel of a real smile. Although recently I have felt more inclined to believe I am capable of them, maybe it's just a pipe dream. Me hoping that I am still as human as people think I am, that I still have humane emotions, that I am not completely detached from everything.
I'm doing a play at the moment, part of my drama course. I have a line that made me think, it goes: "Depression's inadequate. A full scale emotional collapse is the minimum required to justify letting everyone down." How true this statement is. How accurate it describes the human train of thought. We cannot let people down unless we fully collapse, anything less and we are expected to get on with everything like it's perfectly normal.
It's difficult to carry on sometimes, when everything feels like it's slipping away, or like it's never coming back to you. I'm glad I have people who can always try and pull me away from the edge of the cliff, or throw the rope down to me if I fall... or if I jump...
Why... how... does it seem like my thoughts revolve around the depressing? It's odd that my thoughts automatically turn to the bad ones. The ones I shouldn't think of, the things I shouldn't have to turn to anymore. Will the pain ever stop? Will it ever let me stop the bad thing? Oh well, time will tell.
Darkened Angel, signing off. | 